Another moonlit night

I still miss him so much.  It surprises me sometimes.

Tonight there was a show, with the pub sign from the show he directed but never saw because he was in ICU, with the long storyteller's coat that he wanted to wear to our wedding, with songs recycled from previous shows he'd been involved in.  The memories didn't hit as hard as they used to but, even so, I still left at the interval to go and find some space.

I ended up eating chips on the quay by the river and even that brought back memories of sitting on the edge of the quayside in the harbour, in the exact same skirt, on what probably passed as our first real date eating ice cream and listening to the Storyteller tell my a story all of my very own.

I'm fed up of being alone.  It hurts too much.

I'm trying to pluck up the courage at the moment to go in the pub behind me, get a drink and listen to the band properly, rather than sitting out here in the quay.  I used to enjoy going and listening to random live music in pubs.  I've never been brave enough to go by myself though.  Of course, now I've said that, it sounds rather a lot like they're taking a break. So perhaps, I won't.