Thursday, December 08, 2011

There are times that I forget stuff...

...and one of those times is now.

I keep on forgetting that my nan passed away at the same time as Gavin was in ICU the first time around.  I'm starting to think that I just didn't process it at all at the time as I had absolutely no brain power to spare by that point.  I'm only just realising this now as some friends are dealing with their own gran having had a bad stroke.  I was trying to work out why my reactions were so strong when we were talking about it and then I remembered that I don't think I'd been able to react at all when it was my nan.

Perhaps the past 18 months have messed me up more than I thought.  Much more likely though is that it's just called being a human.  The brain can't have unlimited processing power and so it chooses to deal with stuff whenever it can; even if that means hitting you round the head with some really random memories at really bad/inappropriate times.

On another note, I've decided to write down the story of the past 18 months so I don't need to feel that I have to remember everything (this is obviously the curse of being known to have a good memory for when stuff happened and where it happened and who was there and what everyone was wearing {I don't exaggerate there!}, I feel bad when my memory isn't up to my usual standards).

(Apologies for crap grammar and bracket usage up there.  I know what I mean to say but really can't work out how to phrase it properly.  Blame it on being bunged up with a cold!)

In general, I'm actually doing a lot better than this post would suggest.  I'm tired and have a head full of cold but everything's okay apart from that.

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